How To Know If You're Unfit
To Drive |
London: UK police have launched
a new series of calisthenic challenges which they believe could increase
the number of drug-driving arrests tenfold within a year. One test is to
stand on one leg and tilt your head back, close your eyes, lift your other
leg into the air, stretch out your arms and touch the tip of your nose with
the index finger of each hand. Open your eyes, lose your balance or miss
your nose and you're obviously under the influence of drugs, police say.
Another test involves closing your eyes while you count out an estimated
30 seconds without speaking. Too quick or too slow and you fail that one
too. Police believe they'll be able to arrest 20,000 motorists in the next
year - well up from the 2,000 a year they currently arrest.
(Source: Agence France
Presse) |
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Los Angeles: A 50 year old man
is suing 80s pop group Duran Duran after his phone number was accidentally
listed on the group's web site as the one to call for merchandise. The lawsuit
claims he suffered "life-threatening high blood pressure episodes" as a result
of calls estimated by him to be "in the millions". Duran who?
(Source: The Australian)
New Jersey: A Newark hair
replacement company that claimed it had a system which was "the secret of
the rich and famous" agreed this month to pay $300,000 to settle claims it
had cheated its customers. United Micro Systems Inc. ran ads claiming its
procedure permanently attached hair to the scalp using an "FDA-approved,
medical grade interfusion system." However, more than 200 customers said
their new hair fell out a few days after treatment. According to a complaint
filed in Superior Court, the hair had simply been glued to the scalps of
customers.
(Source: New York Times)
Teheran: Hundreds of people
in the town of Ghir rioted this month when a judge arrested a cross-eyed
grocer for allegedly eyeing his wife while the couple were shopping in the
grocer's store. Protesters pelted government buildings with stones and torched
three cars. Local journalists said the acts were sparked by what the participants
viewed as the judge's abuse of power.
(Source: CNN FringeMail)
Hijinks |
Sunshine Coast: "Sunshine Coast
mayor Alison Kerr-Jones and her fiance had a rollicking ride across a golf
course yesterday when they lost control of their car and it skidded across
a fairway, hit a tree and exited via a cemetery. The embarrassing accident
was witnessed by Nambour Golf Club women golfers in the middle of a competition
at 10am yesterday. Cr. Kerr-Jones, 50, was a passenger in a car yard courtesy
vehicle being driven by her fiance of just three days, Rene Grosse, which
went out of control and skidded across a fairway and hit a tree. The vehicle,
described by witnesses as a dark-coloured Falcon, drove off via the adjoining
Nambour Cemetery.
"Cr. Kerr-Jones was elected Maroochy
Shire Council's first woman mayor in March. Council staff said she was on
two days' sick leave with the flu after presenting a doctor's certificate.
She missed yesterday's council meeting. Deputy Mayor Trevor Thompson confirmed
late yesterday that the Mayor had been in an accident. A Nambour police spokesman
confirmed "a matter" was under investigation. Cr. Kerr-Jones and Mr Grosse
were witnessed hurriedly leaving the Nambour police station shortly after
4pm yesterday and getting into her new council-supplied LTD Ford. Cr. Kerr-Jones,
being hugged by Mr Grosse, told a television station last night it was "just
an unusual incident...a personal part of people's lives".
(Source: The Courier-Mail) |
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Massachusetts: Mary Lowry called
Adams police this month when she discovered that a 4-foot-long black bear
was apparently sleeping in her garden. Cautious police who rushed to the
scene tried to rouse the animal with sirens and a noisemaking device but
found the creature simply wouldn't stir. After an hour, they cautiously prodded
it with a very long pole and discovered the reason why: it was a large stuffed
teddy bear dumped in the garden by neighbourhood dogs.
(Source: LA Times)
London: British police are searching
for a hacker who broke into the Safeway web site this month and sent an email
to all the company's online clients advising them to shop elsewhere. Up to
1,000 customers telephoned to complain after the hacker accessed a database
containing details on 25,000 shoppers. The hoax email - signed "from the
Safeway team" and headed with the company's email address - announced a 25%
price increase and told clients that if they were unhappy about it they really
should do their shopping at rivals Tesco or Sainsbury.
(Source: The Sunday Times)
Not A Crime, But Perhaps It
Should Be... |
Melbourne: "Two Melbourne men
have become one of the stand-out successes of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
this year, packing in the crowds each night and shaping up for the Best Newcomer
Award and possibly even the top prize, the Perrier Award. So the fact that
their act is solely based on doing impressions with their genitals is surely
beside the point. The "Puppetry Of The Penis Troupe" - also known as Simon
Morley and David Friend - are sweeping all before them with their pants-down,
in-your-face brand of humour. And they've been so successful that they've
been signed up for a 5-week run in London's West End, which will be followed
by tours of Europe and the USA.
"Their act first debuted at Melbourne's
1998 Comedy Festival and is a fairly minimalist affair with the only props
being the duo's "wedding tackle". Morley, a 36-year-old former comedy promoter
and Friend, a 31-year-old ex-policeman, started the act after a drunken night
out when one of them did a test showing of The Hamburger. Their repertoire
has now expanded to include The Squirrel, The Cannon, The
Boomerang, The Didgeridoo, The Emu and The Kangaroo
- and in their Edinburgh show "Pleasing The Scots" they've added a further
one: The Loch Ness Monster. "It's not stand-up comedy," Morley said.
"We're performance artists."
(Source: The Age) |
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