| Australia: 20-year old double
murderer Andrew Jeffrey is safely back behind bars for Christmas after a
daring escape from a Brisbane gaol last month. Jeffrey was apprehended by
police in Footscray, Melbourne after he went to a hotel, got drunk, bragged
about his criminal exploits and escapee status to the crowd, then started
a street brawl with one patron who said he didn't believe Jeffrey because
"if what you say is true, you'd have to be just about the stupidest
criminal in Australia".
Canberra: Jilted Jacqueline
Martin, 39, who disguised herself with a false beard and moustache and then
tipped a bucket of sloppy cow dung over her former fiance's bride in the
middle of a wedding ceremony, was given a 3-month suspended sentence and
ordered to pay $1366 in costs when she appeared before the ACT Magistrate's
court last month. Martin, who pleaded guilty, said she was "relieved" with
the decision. "I do realise one thing," she said. "Throwing buckets of manure
is not a good idea. There are other ways to reconcile things. It was a silly
move. There would have to be regret there. Yes, most assuredly."
Florida: Police in West Palm
Beach, Florida, put bank robber Steven Raines behind bars after he went
into a hotel and plunked $10,000 in cash on the counter. According
to investigators, Raines ordered a vodka with a plate of lemon slices
and sugar, then started counting out the cash. Barman Chip Welfeld got suspicious
and called the cops. Police say Raines had hit two banks before stopping
for refreshments.
Connecticut: Police in Manchester
caught suspected carjacker Calvin Bonds as he attempted to flee the scene
of the crime on a small girl's bike. Police say Bonds stole a Ford Probe
after putting a knife to throat of the driver, but then smashed into a pickup
truck as he was speeding away from the scene. Authorities say they caught
up with Bonds a short while latter, pedaling desperately on a pink and white
girl's bike. One officer says Bonds claimed the bike was his and he was on
his way home.
Liberia: Joshua Blahyi - formerly
known as General Butt Naked and leader of the Butt Naked Battalion in Liberia's
recent civil war - says that he now regrets the drunken murderous rampages
he led his troops on, and says that he was a "slave to Satan". Speaking to
the press from his new Soul-Winning Evangelical Ministry in Monrovia, General
Butt Naked told reporters that at the age of 11 he had a telephone call from
the Devil who demanded nudity on the battlefield, acts of indecency and regular
human sacrifices to ensure his protection. "So, before leading my troops
into battle, we would get drunk and drugged up, sacrifice a local teenager,
drink their blood, then strip down to our shoes and go into battle wearing
colourful wigs and carrying dainty purses we'd looted from civilians. We'd
slaughter anyone we saw, chop their heads off and use them as soccer balls.
We were nude, fearless, drunk and homicidal. We killed hundreds of people
- so many I lost count. But in June last year God telephoned me and told
me that I was not the hero I considered myself to be, so I stopped and became
a preacher".
Melbourne: Police say that burglars
who raided a Melbourne impotence clinic may have grabbed more than they can
handle - drugs that cause five-day erections. Thieves took dozens of bottles
of several different drugs used to treat impotence during a weekend break-in
at the clinic in a bayside suburb. The drugs are not fatal, but can cause
extreme discomfort. "We're looking for someone who is either very embarrassed
or very tired," a police spokesman told reporters. |
