April 2000 

Adelaide:: In an effort to drive drug dealers out of Adelaide's Rundle Mall, Adelaide City Council has ordered that Kenny G, Richard Clayderman and classical music be played there continuously. Rundle Mall manager David West said that the idea was borrowed from a small Sydney shopping centre that drive children away by playing Bing Crosby records endlessly. "We haven't changed the CDs very much because we're trying to develop a boring situation, trying to get that monotony to happen," Mr West told reporters. "We really hope that this will bore young people so much that they'll simply go elsewhere."
(Source: The Australian)

New Delhi: Monkeys hit the crime pages of India's national press this month after dropping a flower pot on a man's head and killing him. Arvind Jah, 48, died instantly when he was hit by the flower pot, which was pushed from the top floor of a multi-storey building in the Patarpanj district of East Delhi. Beyond the known fact that monkeys were involved, though, police have no immediate suspects in the case.
(Source: The Times of India)

Gold Coast: Gold Coast police were involved in a high-speed chase this month when two people allegedly made away with a life-sized Banana In Pyjamas from the ABC Shop at Pacific Fair. Police spotted the getaway car within minutes of the offence as it sped by with a 6ft banana in the passenger seat, and caught it shortly afterwards following a high-speed chase through several suburbs. A man was later charged with theft and ordered to appear in court, while a juvenile also involved in the incident was let off with a caution.
(Source: Gold Coast Bulletin)

Pension Day At Bernie's... South Africa: "At first, nothing seemed untoward," postmaster Dawie Bester told reporters. "I was manning the post office counter which is used to serve illiterate people when a young man and woman arrived, holding an older man between them. They explained that he was their uncle and said that "he is very lazy, he cannot be bothered to stay awake to claim his pension. He may be drunk. He is ill". All the same, I started to become suspicious when I noticed that the old man's eyes were completely closed and still. Then when I noticed the way the the young man was manoeuvering the old man's hand on the counter for fingerprint taking I told them that pension claimants have to be in full control of their body and mind to get their cash, and that I would have to call my supervisor. At that point they shouted a remark at me and ran off, leaving the old man to fall to the ground. When I got around to the other side of the counter I discovered that the old man was ice cold and had obviously been dead for many hours, so I called the police. In all my 29 working in this post office I have never known such a thing. We have had several people die while waiting in the queue, sure - but never a dead person trying to claim." (Source: Eastern Province Herald)

Kingaroy: Ultimate recidivism: a Kingaroy man, upset at receiving a conviction over a minor matter in the Magistrates Court, kicked the court building's glass door and broke it as he was leaving the building. He was immediately arrested by police on a charge of willfully destroying public property and will face the same court again next month.
(Source: The South Burnett Times)

Snowtown: Complaints have been lodged with Snowtown Council over the tastelessness of merchandise being offered to tourists after locals decided to cash in on the notoriety of the Snowtown Murders case last year, when 8 dismembered bodies were found in plastic barrels in a disused bank vault there. Tourists visiting the small South Australian town are now offered fridge magnets featuring 8 barrels and the caption "Snowtown - You'll Have A Barrel of Fun" or a dismembered man in a barrel saying "I've Been To Snowtown"; a barrel-shaped mug with a spoon in the shape of a severed arm; or the infamous "Snowtown Snow Shaker", which features plastic body parts floating around a hillside scene. Most prominent complainant has been South Australian Attorney-General Trevor Griffin, who said that some of the merchandise might prejudice a fair trial for the four men accused of the murders
(Source: The Courier-Mail)

Wisconsin: Several children may require counselling after a Madison mall Easter bunny become involved in an unseemly  brawl with her assistant this month. According to reports, the Easter Bunny had removed the head part of her costume for a break when the assistant pushed her and she fell over it, pulling down the stage curtain in the process. "The Easter Bunny then got up and punched her assistant a couple of times in full view of the audience," a department store spokesman said. "Needless to say, this didn't go over very well with the children."
(Source: CNN FringeMail)

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