Stupid Criminal Of The Month
Award |
Does marijuana reduce IQ? Police in
Silkwood (a small town in far north Queensland) were left to ponder the question
this month after having to arrest a man who grew a bumper crop in the backyard
of his house. Conveniently, the house was located directly across the street
from the Silkwood police station.
(Source: The Courier-Mail,
Brisbane) |
|
Gladstone: A man who exposed
himself at an office Christmas party and a woman who egged him on both lost
a legal battle to win back their jobs in September when Queensland Industrial
Relations Commissioner David Hoffman upheld their termination by Boyne Smelters.
The court heard that Mr S.Mason, 23, had performed a party trick called "The
Pelican" at an office party attended by 50 staff and their partners on December
18th last year, which involved him exposing his genitals and manipulating
his penis and scrotum. In his defence, Mason said that he'd performed the
act for entertainment purposes rather than for sexual harassment. However,
Mr Hoffman concluded that his act didn't meet "reasonable community standards"
and upheld the decision. The female co-worker, M. Burke, was also sacked
after encouraging Mason to perform the trick a second time - so she could
take a photograph. In her case, Mr Hoffman found that while Boyne Smelters
had a valid reason for dismissing Burke, her termination was harsh and the
penalty excessive. All the same, he said that it would be inappropriate to
reinstate her and ordered the company to pay $2,632 compensation.
(Source: Townsville Bulletin)
Christchurch: In other zipper
news (must be the season for it), authorities in the bustling New Zealand
city were agog this month when Thomas Hendry, a student, announced that he
planned a repeat performance of a bizarre penis ritual that won him a
controversial pub promotion, followed by a night in the cells, a stiff fine
and a dressing-down from the bench. Hendry announced that he has been contacted
by a talent scout from the Los Angeles producers of Guinness World Records:
Primetime who'd like him to do a repeat performance for American television.
To win the pub promotion, Hendry had stapled his penis to a crucifix 18 times
with an industrial strength stapler, before dousing it with cigarette lighter
fluid and setting it alight. "I didn't know you could show this sort of stuff
on American TV," Hendry told reporters. "Still, the money's good and I think
it'll give them something to talk about over dinner."
(Source: NZPA)
Minnesota: "It isn't uncommon
for large research establishments to conduct studies involving controlled
substances" Moira Kean, Director of the Research Subjects' Protection Program
at the University of Minnesota told reporters. "However - under the circumstances
- we'll now review some of our policies and perhaps determine whether we
need to step up our lab supervision procedures". Ms Kean was speaking after
the death of Associate Professor Keith Kajander, who died of a massive cocaine
overdose earlier this year. "After his death we discovered the he'd ordered
a total of 28 shipments of powdered cocaine hydrochloride since 1992 at a
cost to the National Institute of Health of over $71,000. He said he was
administering it to mice as part of a study on pain research - but we haven't
seen any evidence yet that the animals got any of it, nor did he ever publish
any work on the topic. In fact, most of the time, he just locked himself
in his lab for days on end and refused to discuss his work with anyone. Come
to think of it, he didn't teach very much either."
(Source: Chronicle of Higher Education, USA)
Brisbane: In an action worthy
of Hamburgler - and to the embarrassment of almost everyone involved - several
exhibits in the the McDonald's McMatch And Win court case disappeared from
the Federal Court this month because court cleaners mistook them for rubbish
and threw them out with the the trash. The high profile class action suit,
in which hundreds of claimants are arguing that the burger giant refused
to cough up prizes they'd won in the promotion because some of the company's
outlets mistakenly recycled materials from a similar competition held the
year before, while others neglected to properly display the competition rules,
ground to a temporary halt while the cleaners explained the gaffe. "It's
normal practice for us to only remove the contents of bins from courtrooms,"
a spokesman for Ellems Cleaning Services said in explaining what had happened
to examples of several different cups used in the Monopoly-style promotion
which had been left in the court during a break in proceedings. "But we have
no further comment". The case continues...
(Source: The Australian)
Canberra: Ten valuable glass
art sculptures were stolen from the Australian National Gallery's outdoor
exhibition area this month - though no-one can quite understand why. The
3 metre high, 10cm round bright red glass sculptures were part of an exhibition
by visiting US glass sculptor Dale Chihuly and formed part of his "Red Reed
Installation 1999" work, in which dozens of the tall red glass rods were
inserted into the ponds in the Gallery's outdoor display area. "This must
just be theft for theft's sake," a puzzled Australian Federal Police spokesman
said. "I mean, these rods are so distinctive you can spot them a country
mile away. And because they're made of glass and are pretty fragile, even
moving them across town is a risk, let alone trying to ship them out of the
country. Furthermore, because they're just a small part of a much bigger
collection of fairly identical glass rods rather than a complete work, even
if the thieves did manage to somehow hide them and ship them somewhere without
being spotted, they'll never be able to sell them. And because this story
has now appeared on national TV and in all the papers, virtually everyone
in the country knows that anyone seen carrying a 10-foot long, bright red
glass rod is a thief, which means they're going to get caught as soon as
they try to do anything. So whoever did this has gone to an awful lot of
trouble for nothing and - all up - this must be just about the dumbest
theft I've ever seen. I guess the thieves must be realising that themselves
by now too. Dimwits."
(Source: The Canberra Times)
Washington: As part of a new
warm, caring, sharing approach for the coming Millennium, the US Army has
announced that it will be swapping over to lead-free "green" bullets in the
next few years - a trend that may percolate across all US law enforcement
agencies as well. The new bullets use a tungsten-nylon core instead of the
existing lead cores, a spokesman said. Tests show that they cause slightly
less barrel erosion than current standard issue and that while they're just
as deadly to humans, are much kinder to the environment.
(Source: Agence France-Presse)
Walk - Don't Drive - In
Arabia |
Fed up with "irresponsible" drivers,
Saudi Arabia has recently launched a major traffic crackdown and imposed
some of toughest laws for traffic offences on the planet.
For example:
-
Standard parking fine: 500 riyal ($A200)
and 3 days jail
-
Braking for a sudden U-turn in car
parks: 500 riyal ($A200) and 2 days jail
-
Jumping a red light: 900 riyal
fine ($A360) and 3 days jail
-
Reckless driving and skidding: 1500
riyal ($A600), 20 days jail and 20 lashes
-
Passenger accompanying a reckless driver:
1500 riyal and 20 lashes (but no jail)
Explaining why passengers accompanying
reckless drivers are lashed but not jailed, Saudi officials explained that
they recognise being punished for someone else's offence might not always
be either justified or - for that matter - particularly fair:
"Well, we do have hitch-hikers over
here, you know. And one of the first people we caught was a man taking his
grandmother to the hospital because she'd had a seizure. So we put in a
last-minute revision to cover those sorts of contingencies. We're civilised
people, after all - just unbelievably lousy drivers"
(Source: Al-Madinah, Saudi
Arabia) |
|
|
