September 1999 

Cape Town: A 21-year-old Welsh tourist who fell out of the back of a bus on a busy highway while baring his buttocks to passing motorists was left recovering from his injuries in a South African hospital this month. "His condition is stable," officials said. "Luckily for him, the injuries weren't life-threatening. But we don't think he'll be doing any more mooning for awhile. He says the whole experience has been a bit of a bummer."
(Source: Reuters)

New Jersey: "We believe that Andre Gordon travelled to Newark yesterday morning with the intention of giving William James a pistol whipping," Detective Rocco Malanga of Newark police told reporters. "He tracked his victim down on Sheppard Avenue and began attacking him, whipping him with a .380 calibre handgun. However, Gordon had forgotten to put the safety catch on and the gun went off while he was beating Jones. The bullet entered his groin and came out his anus. When we found him he was in a pretty awful state and in the process of being mugged himself. He's being treated for gunshot wounds at University Hospital now. But we're still charging him with aggravated assault, illegal possession of a weapon, and possession of heroin and marijuana. Mr Jones, the intended victim, just has some light bruising."
(Source: New Jersey Start Ledger)

Baltimore: Baltimore's WNUV-TV local evening news had an unexpected story occur in front of its cameras last month when a police officer in the studio audience recognized mayoral candidate Dorothy Joyner, 57, as a suspect wanted in a burglary investigation and arrested her. Joyner had been at WNUV-TV filming a segment during which she spoke at length about her ideas on crime fighting.
(Source: Associated Press)

Seoul: "Since I'd run up some huge debts, I decided to sever my feet to get insurance money so I could pay back what I owed," Chung Kyu Chi admitted to South Korean police. "So I asked an acquaintance to cut off my feet at the ankle and throw them away." Chung, a 51-year-old grocer with debts of almost a billion won, was questioned by Seoul police after they became suspicious about his initial story. "We were called to his store after a customer found him lying in a bloody heap on the floor," a police spokesman said. "At first Chung told us that someone must have cut off his feet after he'd passed out during a heavy drinking binge. But then we discovered that a local pharmacist had sold him some anaesthetic the day before, and that he'd also taken out an insurance policy which would pay him two billion won if he was accidentally disabled. The final straw was when we found out that he'd been asking his neighbours to cut off his feet for months. We confronted him with all of this evidence and he finally admitted to the scam. And we'd like to prosecute him, but it's difficult. He hasn't actually tried to claim the insurance money yet, so we can't arrest him for fraud. And he didn't sign a sworn statement so we can't arrest him for perjury. That means that he's free to walk away at present. Well, so to speak."
(Source: The Star, Malaysia)

Edinburgh: A new phrase book for tourists to Britain caused an uproar when it was released this month by claiming the island's favorite word is the f-word. The latest edition of The Lonely Planet British Phrase Book offers tourists many contemporary examples of the English language that they're likely to encounter during their stay - such as "dog's bollocks" meaning "fantastic" (as a mild example). News media who exposed the story labelled parts of the phrasebook "Pythonesque" and predict that assault rates for unwitting tourists who follow its advice are likely to skyrocket as they proceed around the country causing grievous offence to almost everyone they encounter.
(Source: The Australian)

Stupid Lawsuits! Five women employees of a major U.S. supermarket chain in Los Angeles say they 're being sexually harassed by customers because their employer forces them to smile at patrons and make eye contact, and are seeking damages. And on the other side of the sexual divide in Albuquerque, New Mexico a man says his then-girlfriend promised she wouldn't get pregnant but did. So he's suing her for breach of contract and conversion of property - the misuse of his semen.
(Source: News Of The Weird)

Notification For Guests from Hanshou Hotel, China Don't leave the valuables and cash in your room. Our sentry in the front desk can keep those for you and charge nothing. If they vanish, he is irresponsible! According to Chinese Law and the relevant regulations of our Hotel, you should not take the articles that are easy to flammable, to demolish the Hotel, you should not take narcotic drugs and the articles that have the exploding for taste and persecution and the radioactivity to our Hotel. You should not go whoring, take chirp, mame dog and gamin in the Hotel. Don't do something wrong because you drunk too much. The time for payment. For the guest who live for a short time, they should pay the cost for room and service charge before they leave. For the guest who live for a long time, they should pay the cost of room and service charge of last month by 5th of each month. No threat no kill. Contributor: Simon wap.01@bigpond.com

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