This Month: A Reader's True
Stupid Crime Story |
I was working at a 7-11 when a guy
came in and went to the rest room. When he went out again I noticed he was
trying to take two 18-packs of beer with him. "Hey, we've got your licence
number," I shouted after him. "Yeah? " he yelled back. "Big deal! Call
the cops!" So I did. And they went around to his house and arrested
him.....
Contributor:
moly@swbell.net |
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Cape Town: A 21-year-old Welsh
tourist who fell out of the back of a bus on a busy highway while baring
his buttocks to passing motorists was left recovering from his injuries in
a South African hospital this month. "His condition is stable," officials
said. "Luckily for him, the injuries weren't life-threatening. But we don't
think he'll be doing any more mooning for awhile. He says the whole experience
has been a bit of a bummer."
(Source: Reuters)
New Jersey: "We believe that
Andre Gordon travelled to Newark yesterday morning with the intention of
giving William James a pistol whipping," Detective Rocco Malanga of Newark
police told reporters. "He tracked his victim down on Sheppard Avenue and
began attacking him, whipping him with a .380 calibre handgun. However, Gordon
had forgotten to put the safety catch on and the gun went off while he was
beating Jones. The bullet entered his groin and came out his anus. When we
found him he was in a pretty awful state and in the process of being
mugged himself. He's being treated for gunshot wounds at University Hospital
now. But we're still charging him with aggravated assault, illegal possession
of a weapon, and possession of heroin and marijuana. Mr Jones, the intended
victim, just has some light bruising."
(Source: New Jersey Start Ledger)
Baltimore: Baltimore's WNUV-TV
local evening news had an unexpected story occur in front of its cameras
last month when a police officer in the studio audience recognized mayoral
candidate Dorothy Joyner, 57, as a suspect wanted in a burglary investigation
and arrested her. Joyner had been at WNUV-TV filming a segment during which
she spoke at length about her ideas on crime fighting.
(Source: Associated Press)
Seoul: "Since I'd run up some
huge debts, I decided to sever my feet to get insurance money so I could
pay back what I owed," Chung Kyu Chi admitted to South Korean police. "So
I asked an acquaintance to cut off my feet at the ankle and throw them away."
Chung, a 51-year-old grocer with debts of almost a billion won, was questioned
by Seoul police after they became suspicious about his initial story. "We
were called to his store after a customer found him lying in a bloody heap
on the floor," a police spokesman said. "At first Chung told us that someone
must have cut off his feet after he'd passed out during a heavy drinking
binge. But then we discovered that a local pharmacist had sold him some
anaesthetic the day before, and that he'd also taken out an insurance policy
which would pay him two billion won if he was accidentally disabled. The
final straw was when we found out that he'd been asking his neighbours to
cut off his feet for months. We confronted him with all of this evidence
and he finally admitted to the scam. And we'd like to prosecute him, but
it's difficult. He hasn't actually tried to claim the insurance money yet,
so we can't arrest him for fraud. And he didn't sign a sworn statement so
we can't arrest him for perjury. That means that he's free to walk away at
present. Well, so to speak."
(Source: The Star, Malaysia)
Edinburgh: A new phrase book
for tourists to Britain caused an uproar when it was released this month
by claiming the island's favorite word is the f-word. The latest edition
of The Lonely Planet British Phrase Book offers tourists many contemporary
examples of the English language that they're likely to encounter during
their stay - such as "dog's bollocks" meaning "fantastic" (as a mild
example). News media who exposed the story labelled parts of the phrasebook
"Pythonesque" and predict that assault rates for unwitting tourists who follow
its advice are likely to skyrocket as they proceed around the country causing
grievous offence to almost everyone they encounter.
(Source: The Australian)
Stupid Lawsuits! Five women
employees of a major U.S. supermarket chain in Los Angeles say they 're being
sexually harassed by customers because their employer forces them to smile
at patrons and make eye contact, and are seeking damages. And on the other
side of the sexual divide in Albuquerque, New Mexico a man says his
then-girlfriend promised she wouldn't get pregnant but did. So he's suing
her for breach of contract and conversion of property - the misuse of his
semen.
(Source: News Of The Weird)
Notification For Guests from
Hanshou Hotel, China |
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Don't leave the valuables and
cash in your room. Our sentry in the front desk can keep those for you
and charge nothing. If they vanish, he is irresponsible!
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According to Chinese Law and the relevant
regulations of our Hotel, you should not take the articles
that are easy to flammable, to demolish the Hotel, you should not take narcotic
drugs and the articles that have the exploding for taste and persecution
and the radioactivity to our Hotel. You should not go whoring, take chirp,
mame dog and gamin in the Hotel. Don't do something wrong because you drunk
too much.
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The time for payment. For the guest
who live for a short time, they should pay the cost for room and
service charge before they leave. For the guest who live for a long
time, they should pay the cost of room and service charge of last month by
5th of each month. No threat no kill.
Contributor: Simon
wap.01@bigpond.com |
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