Stupid Crime - True Stories About Dumb Criminals
 Updated Monthly Because They're Indefensible

May 1999 

 

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Houston: In what promises to be a devilishly interesting case, Proctor & Gamble launched a civil suit against Amway this month claiming that Amway salespeople have been promoting rumours the rival company is in league with the devil. Proctor & Gamble say that this is simply not true, and may ultimately force Amway to have to prove otherwise. Appearing in court to commence proceedings, Proctor & Gamble's lawyers claimed that Amway salespeople have been spreading rumours amongst fundamentalist religious communities in the US that P&G's trademark incorporates satanic symbols such as "666" and devil's horns, and that this slur cost the company a whopping $US595 million in lost sales between 1995 and 1997. In support of their opening arguments, the lawyers presented a tape of a 1995 voicemail from an Amway distributor in which the distributor said that Proctor & Gamble's president had allegedly confessed on a TV talk show that a percentage of P&G's profits went to "the Church of Satan". Amway have filed a cross-action claiming that Proctor & Gamble is conducting a smear campaign.
(Source: Reuters)

Brisbane: A dim-witted thief who set fire to a doctor's surgery was quickly caught after police found his wallet at the scene of the crime. Brisbane District Court heard last month that 26-year-old James Kirkwood had broken into a doctor's Redcliffe surgery in May, 1998 and taken vials of drugs and medical supplies before setting fire to the premises. However, he'd dropped his wallet while making his escape. Police simply went around to the address in the wallet, found drugs and tablets in a bin and arrested him on the spot. Kirkwood - who pleaded guilty to arson, break and enter and stealing - was sentenced to 3 years jail, suspended after 12 months.
(Source: The Courier-Mail, Brisbane)

Brisbane: Police had a similarly easy time tracking down two equally challenged young female offenders who committed an armed robbery at a Buranda convenience store. Brisbane Magistrates Court heard this month that one of the girls had waited until the conclusion of the robbery before spraying the lens of a security camera with paint.....
(Source: The Courier-Mail, Brisbane)

Sydney: A man accused of exposing himself had to be freed from his zipper by the Nepean Rescue Squad after he became "jammed", Penrith Local Court heard this month. The court was told that a 19-year-old female student had been walking through a local car park one morning earlier in the week when she'd allegedly been approached by 52-year-old Rodney Anthony Wilson, who'd asked if she knew where a medical centre was and then said "Do you want to know what my problem is?" before lifting his T-shirt and revealing his penis partially exposed through the open zipper of his jeans. The woman had run away and informed police, who later found Wilson at the Penrith Plaza Medical Centre where he allegedly told them that his penis had become stuck earlier in the day when he was urinating, and that he'd come to seek assistance to have it "unstuck". Police said Wilson had told them he'd approached the woman to tell her about his problem because he was "looking for sympathy". Wilson, who is on parole for manslaughter, was later freed from his plight by the Rescue Squad and spent 6 hours in hospital recovering from the ordeal. He was charged with wilful and obscene exposure and common assault.
(Source: The Sydney Morning Herald

Brisbane: A woman appearing in court on drug trafficking charges was allegedly captured on police video cameras selling heroin a block from the courthouse during her court hearing lunch break this month. Police prosecutor Sgt. Roy Mientjes told Brisbane Magistrates Court that Huong My Thi Le had been in the court at a committal hearing on drug trafficking charges earlier that morning, but during the lunch break adjournment had been observed by police in a car park a block away conducting a heroin deal. He said that police had audio and video recordings of the whole incident because it occurred within view of the fully wired Roma Street police HQ. In her defence, however, Le's solicitor Chris Callaghan said that his client had made no admissions, that she would have to be immensely stupid to do something like this, and had four children to look after. Le was granted bail on condition that she report daily to police, and was remanded on the latest set of charges to June 28th.
(Source: The Courier-Mail, Brisbane)

Sydney: 55-year-old Sydney widow Margaret Flack - who denied any knowledge of $433,000 cash found in a bag during a police raid on her Housing Commission home in 1994  - was given the money this month after no-one stepped forward to claim it. The National Crime Authority had tried to persuade the High Court to hear an appeal against an earlier ruling that since no-one had put in a claim for the money and she was the occupier of the house, it belonged to her. According to reports, Ms Flack's children had keys to the house at the time the money was believed to have been left there. Police had taken out a search warrant because they suspected Ms Flack's son of drug offences, although no charges were ever laid. Ms Flack was on the dole at the time.
(Source: The Sydney Morning Herald)

Phoenix: Police are hunting for "a very ugly woman" for questioning over a bank robbery. Authorities have justified the description by saying that was exactly how she'd been described by every victim. "It's kind of insulting, but maybe it'll tick her off," a spokesman said.
(Source: Reuters)

Kuala Lumpur: Malaysia's foremost novelist Shahnon Ahmad - whose 30 books have been lauded and included in school and college literature courses throughout the country - is now in trouble because of a political satire he's just written which lampoons Prime Minister Mahatir and compares him to excrement. Shahnon, 66, has called his 240-page work Shit "because the impact is stronger in English". Set in the depths of the human bowel. the plot concerns a radical piece of excrement breaking free to clear the passage being blocked by an older lump. The book has already sold 70,000 copies since it was launched earlier this year - but sales only really began to boom last month when angry Government officials made it known that they wanted Shahnon sacked from his teaching position at the University of Science after someone discovered what the book was all about and had to have it withdrawn from school libraries nationwide.
(Source: Associated Press)

Sydney: Finally, it's not truly criminal but perhaps it should be: Tim Carr, leader of the Natural Law Party, says that there's nothing cultish about the Maharishi's Global Administration Through Natural Law ideas. According to Mr Carr, groups of people can cause "coherence and harmony" to flow through the world and stop all wars by practising transcendental meditation and yogic flying. Mr Carr says that there is no time to lose in introducing this "proven technology" and has called on the State Government to look into it.
(Source: The Australian)

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