THE ONES THAT GOT
AWAY
(A SPECIAL EDITION) |
California: A 55-year-old Burbank
man who placed an ad in a local bondage and discipline magazine arranged
a liaison in his home last month with another man. When the advertiser answered
his door, his visitor forced him to crawl through his house to his bondage
room where the man was tied, nude, to a "proctologist table". According to
police, the visitor and an accomplice (who had been waiting outside), then
stole the man's sofa, leather chair, TV set and several other items from
the house. Neighbours found the 55-year-old the next day, still strapped
to the table, in a "highly excited" state.
(Source: LA Times)
Kenya: "Samson Stone may only
have one arm and one leg," District Commissioner Sam Ojuang told reporters
in Marsabit, "but he has the strength of ten men and is not to be trifled
with" Ojuang explained that two of his officers had been on night patrol
in the bar area of the town around 3:30am when they saw Stone hobbling along
on his crutches in a suspicious manner, obviously drunk. But when they called
on him to stop he refused - so they had drawn their guns and were preparing
to shoot when Stone suddenly lashed out at one with his crutch, sending one
officer sprawling to the ground, and then spun around and grabbed the other
officer's pistol, leaving both men completely helpless. "After that, he made
my officers crawl on their knees all the way back to the station house while
saluting him, calling him Afande (sir), whistling the national anthem and
kissing his bottom as he hobbled along in front of them. When they finally
reached the station Stone came inside and handed the pistol to me," Ojuang
said. "Naturally, my officers' trousers are completely ruined and they have
several nasty grazes as well, so we shall be charging him with criminal damage
as well as bringing the law into disrepute. Stone told me that he had been
watching a TV program called "Charlie's Angels" earlier in the evening, and
I think it may well have turned his head."
(Source: Kenya Standard)
Manila: A formal hearing of
the Commission of Elections held in Manila before the May 1998 elections
which had been tasked with sorting through the 81 candidates who had decided
to contest the Presidency broke out in an uproar when Chairman Bernardo Parlo
threatened to disqualify "nuisance candidates who will make a mockery of
this country at the polls". Parlo had earlier taken representations from
a candidate who declared that he believed he was the reincarnation of Jesus
and appeared at the hearing dressed as shepherd with a sheep under his arm;
another who claimed to be a scientist but who swore that - if elected - he
would consult astrologers before deciding on all important matters of state
"to ensure that the decision is right for the nation"; and Imelda Marcos,
who claimed that even though she had recently been sentenced to a 12-year
prison term for graft, she was appealing the decision and therefore was
technically not guilty and able to stand. The hearings disintegrated into
complete chaos, however, when Radi Leonardo - who had earlier been labelled
a nuisance candidate - berated the chairman for his decision. "If by nuisance
you mean somebody who will release live chickens in Parliament, who will
abolish all taxes, and who will order traditional politicians to be crucified
because they are the perpetrators of all that is evil then yes, I am a nuisance
candidate," Leonardo said. He then approached Parlo and began a chant of
"resign, resign" before embracing Mrs Marcos and declaring "your husband
was my idol".
(Source: The Philippine Journal)
Dhaka: When reporters questioned
his ethics at a meeting called to announce the formation of a new association
for criminals, committee member Ali Hossain angrily replied that "Suganda
Samity is no fly-by-night organisation and I truly resent your inferences.
We are are a highly professional institution and the sole purpose of our
existence is to teach the ancient and honourable art of thieving to the younger
generation." Hossain was speaking on behalf of the newly-formed association
which had been created several weeks earlier by 10,000 thieves who operate
in the Bangladesh capital. "We've already enrolled 2,000 pupils in our training
school and are teaching them how to master the basic skills of our profession
- pickpocketing, forgery, and breaking and entering with light violence.
We also run an intelligence service so that domestic servants can give us
inside information which will help us to rob their employers. Naturally,
in return, we give them a share of the proceeds because it is only right
and proper that we treat them with honesty." Hossain added that hijackers
were barred from becoming members of Suganda Samity because "their activities
are anti-social".
(Source: The Kathmandu Post)
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