Fair Cop Of The
Month |
Cairns: Police sergeant Joe
Pennini, who lost his license earlier this year after being convicted of
drink-driving, was charged this month with driving while disqualified after
he allegedly drove to the Kowanyama airport in far north Queensland to pick
up Chief Magistrate Di Fingleton. Unbeknownst to Sgt. Pennini, Ms. Fingleton
was accompanied on the trip by another magistrate, David Glasgow - the same
magistrate who'd convicted Pennini of drink driving and had banned him from
driving for eight months only a few months earlier.
(Source: The
Courier-Mail) |
|
Brisbane: Impulse Airlines'
inaugural Brisbane to Sydney flight was delayed this month when members of
the Newcastle rock band The Screaming Jets broke into a spirited rendition
of Puff The Magic Dragon moments before take-off. The new Boeing 717-200
jet had taxied to the runway for the early morning flight before it was forced
to return to the terminal so band members could be escorted from the plane
by security staff. "We thought of everything to get into the press and this
was it," unrepentant lead singer Dave Gleeson said. "Yes, we'd been drinking.
But no, we weren't drunk. And say what you like, but we think Puff the Magic
Dragon is a great song."
(Source: The Australian)
Iowa: A 76-year-old ex-convict,
homesick for prison, walked into a bank in Council Bluffs this month and
handed a teller a note demanding two $50 bills. As the man left the bank,
he told staff that he'd be sitting outside in his car smoking a cigarette
while he waited for police to come take him back to prison, in case anyone
didn't know where to find him.
(Source: CNN Fringemail)
Yorkshire: Understaffed Yorkshire
police in the town of Bridlington believe they may have found an inexpensive
solution to their manning problems: life-size cardboard cut-outs, which will
be placed in known crime hotspots to frighten off would-be criminals with
extremely low IQs.
(Source: The Sunday Times)
Feed The Man Meat |
Port Moresby: Soldiers celebrating
Papua New Guinea's 25th anniversary of independence got drunk and burned
down the headquarters of 2 Pacific Islands Regiment at Wewak in the north-west
of the country this month in a fit of pique after being denied dinner. According
to reports, drunken vandalism erupted amongst the soldiers at about 7:30pm
when they returned to the barracks after taking part in a flag lowering ceremony
in nearby Wewak. Reporters suggested that the soldiers became angry when
they found their mess had closed and targeted the nearby officers' mess where
the province's Independence Anniversary Ball was getting underway. East Sepik
Governor Arthur Somare was playing host to an Indonesian military delegation
from Jayapura in neighbouring Irian Jaya at the club when the soldiers
gatecrashed the ball. The Indonesians, the Governor and other guests were
safely escorted out of the barracks before soldiers set the entire compound
alight, burning it to ashes. There are now high-level calls for a full inquiry
into the incident. In the meantime, the soldiers are sleeping out of doors.
(Source: The Sydney Morning Herald) |
|
Bangkok: The Thai Government
was forced to investigate a Bhuddist monk this month to determine whether
his collection of 60 Mercedes-Benz cars violated his religion's anti-materialist
precepts. Phra Khru Viboon Pattanakit, the abbot of the Sisakrabua temple
in Bangkok, claimed that he wanted to set up a museum featuring the cars
and said that he received the cars as donations from his followers, or bought
them with cash given by devotees. He also said that he'd been letting monks
and novices at the temple repair and maintain the vehicles as a way of learning
the skills for becoming motor mechanics once they left the monkhood. However,
the Thai Education Ministry - which oversees religious affairs - said it
was unacceptable for monks to collect luxury cars, and ordered the abbot
to get rid of them.
(Source: The Age)
Cairns: In an incident described
by local police as a "ship of fools", four young men and two women allegedly
attempted to steal a luxury yacht from the local marina this month and embark
on a round-the-world cruise. According to police, one of the group dreamed
up the idea after borrowing a book called "Navigating By The Stars" from
the local library a few weeks earlier. The six then loaded up a $300,000
yacht with 60 cans of baked beans, 1000 condoms and the book and set sail.
Unfortunately for the hapless thieves, the boat ran out of wind less than
20 minutes after they left the dock. It then drifted for about 400 metres
before crashing into a partially-built pier, after which all six had to be
rescued. The six are expected to face court shortly.
(Source: The Sunday Times)
Las Vegas: Don Astorga was convicted
of violating the Endangered Species Act this month after he was caught smuggling
lizards into the country by carrying them in his underwear. According to
authorities, he was arrested at Las Vegas airport in June when police noticed
unusual moving bulges around his groin. The bulges turned out to be created
by lizards stuffed into tube socks.
(Source: News of the Weird)
Handy Tips For Sydney Olympic
Tourists! |
-
When you'red in the water at Bondi,
always be sure to wave enthusiastically to the lifeguard so he'll know exactly
where you are.
-
The tolls on the harbour bridge are
voluntary. You should only contribute if the toll officer sings for you or
plays an instrument.
-
It's traditional to bargain with Sydney
taxi drivers over the fare.
On no account pay what's on the meter - this will be sure to cause
offence.
-
Always remove your shoes before attempting
the traditional climb of the Opera House sails
-
Money lost at the Star City Casino
is refundable at the end of the night. Ask any of the security guards about
it.
-
You'll find Kerry Packer's luxury yacht
Arctic P moored in the harbour. Just clamber aboard - Kerry loves
surprises!
-
The Olympic "Clearway" lanes are kept
completely clear of traffic to provide cheap parking.
-
The monorail is no longer in service.
The metal track, though, is now available to American visitors for rollerblading
or sunbaking
(Contributor:
Phillip
Hill) |
|
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